Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Interesting 'Let's Talk' Responses.

Our people say:
Eng: A diviner cannot accurately divine his own future. - Nigerian Proverb.
Thank you so much for your responses to the last 'Let's Talk' question. So, the responses were much fewer than previous ones and I don't know if the open comment box style instead of option style box was responsible.
Here we go:

Question: What is your understanding of 'submission' and 'love' in marriage?
Submission is a cultural cum biological trend that helps men and women get along in marriage, the man mostly dominating and the woman submitting. It is a trend, a change in how the society sees things it seems to be suggesting equal decision making power between couples, and maybe causing marital friction? just maybe. Maybe the biological trend of male domination might be the secret to a successful marriage.

Love is first affection then duty that validates that affection. Even in the absence of affection, duty might remain in marriage but outside marriage, duty ends, and love does as well.

Ayam not married.

In a marriage, the couple both submit to each other, but there are different kinds of submission. The man submits to the woman in complete love (the bible says "husbands love your wives") and the woman does likewise according to the general law of love and reciprocity. Another type of submission is respect, as in the one where a woman respects her husband and recognizes that he is the head of the home, and there can't be two heads.

Submission isnt weakness but another form of respect to one another.I believe love is being vulnerable to the one you love and vice versa knowing they wont take advantage of your vulnerability.

Submission is understanding that there is equality in worth but hierachy in functions. As a wife, I understand that my husband is head of the home and I submit to him. That notwithstanding, I would not keep quiet if I know a decision he will take will lead us into trouble. Hence we have submission to God and His word. Love is letting go of self and accepting someone for who he/she is despite weaknesses, flaws, mistakes and imperfections. It is something we work on every single day.

My take?
Love- 'Husbands love ur wives as Christ loved the church'. I wanna believe that means accept her, cherish her, nurture her, pray for her, be selfless for her, 'die'(let go off u) for her.
Submission- Wives, be submissive to ur husbands, ur head even as Christ is the head of the church (Paraphrased). i.e Allow him to lead, respect him, listen to him, Take care of him, accept him.....
I think GOD gave the perfect relationship of how man n wife should be.....Christ n the church.

I think these are some pretty serious answers. For those who put down their names, I have removed them. What do you have to say based on these responses?

God's Blessings...
My name is NakedSha


  1. I like answer number 3. To me that's what love is really about. I also think submission is a part of love and so it should not be one-sided. Both the man and the woman should submit to each other. I think people get caught up in this male leadership thing and use the Bible to back it up.

    It is not always that the man is best placed to make a particular decision. We all have different strengths and vulnerabilities. In my humble opinion, it's about both the man and the woman bringing their individual strengths to the relationship, it's not about one person making the decisions and the other person deferring to them. When you both recognise your individual strengths and depending on the situation, you will learn when to defer to the other person when it is called for, because you trust their judgement on that particular matter. A marriage/relationship is a partnership, not a leader-follower arrangement. Nurture and respect each other and it will be well.

    My two pennies.

  2. And I do not agree with comment number 4 that there should be a hierarchy of functions. If the couple are jointly aware of their individual strengths and weaknesses, there is absolutely no need to introduce a master or a hierarchy.

  3. I think the bible also says somewhere about submitting to each other. Apart from that, respect and love is reciprocal. A couple that understand this are on their way to a compatible marriage.

    Great answers all sha, whatever works for each person at the end of the day.

  4. Totally agree with N04.

    i tried to comment then, but....

  5. .I believe love is being vulnerable to the one you love and vice versa knowing they wont take advantage of your vulnerability.


  6. @Myne, NG and doll, thank you for your responses.


Your comments are my maggi!