Monday, September 19, 2011

Some Things Sting as Bad as Death Itself.

Our people say:
[Frankly, they are too weak and disgusted to speak today. All they are doing is shaking their heads.]

Oboma H is my very good friend. We went to nursery, primary and secondary school together. We almost went to College together until at the last minute, I went to the U.S.A instead of Canada.  But that hasn't changed many things. This girl is one of the best dancers you will ever meet, as an aside, and we have had about as many awesome memories and disagreements as possible and these things only made us stronger.

Then, Oboma lost her father recently.

It's hard for her, especially because she was really close to him and she talked about him all the time. Oboma called her dad 'Father' with a very interesting Kalabari twist to the word, (so it has the same stress pattern as 'Oga'). So, we all referred to him as Father. She's hurting but she's as strong as I would never have expected. I'm literally tapping strength off her and her mother. It's unbelievable and it's a miracle.

                                                               Bomsy and Father.

Oboma's dad was extremely warm and kind (as is her mum) and since I've related with them for more than ten years now, they would always ask about me and vice versa. Extremely funny and his age did not show on his health. He would walk into a room ever gracefully with his walking stick and he would sit with everyone. He would NEVER sit up front or on the high table until he was called up. NEVER. And he was ALWAYS called up :) I know he's resting in peace and really, much of him lives in his children, his wife and those that knew him.

Oboma, be strong. You have lovers. It's not today we started going through thick, thin and BS. So, no be today e go end. God has you.

So, I didn't have to write a post to comfort my friend. Until I saw this:

The text reads (verbatim):

"Gurl you're what if you lost a dad are you the first? Feel free to delete the comment and me from your list."

I know you already know, Bomsy, but just as a reminder, you're the furthest thing from dumb. You're strong and beautiful and a fighter. And your dad is in a better place, looking down on [Paul Barde] and wanting to whoop him.

Your response was what made me realise that this guy was opening things you were trying to allow heal.

So, I plead in the nicest way possible...people, bico, be sensitive to others. I would not have done an entire blog post about this but in view of all that has been going on in recent times, I'm sick-to-my-stomach on the amount of insensitivity some of us have. 

Don't do it.

If what you have to say will not constructively release warmth and prayers and kind wishes so that someone who is going through pain can heal, then you don't have to speak. You really don't.

Oboma, you will heal. Allow this Barde, Paul to wallow in his foolishness. According to IphyIgboGurl, 'you know what they say about when you argue with a fool'.

To all those in pain because of death (or, for example, rape) or statements that sting like them, God be with you and focus on the few warm words this generation has to offer. It's a pity.

Shout out to all those who have taken matters into their own hands  since waiting for 'Monday' was a complete waste of time, especially Sugabelly for making use of her Engl-Igbo skills to fish out those first names. Some heroes come in flimsy forms.