Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Stories of Us - Part 1 - How much does difference matter these days?

...Omonoba...
Our people say:
Yoruba: Àbúrò kì í pa ẹ̀gbọ́n nítàn.
English: The younger person does not give the older person history lectures. - Yoruba Proverb.
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I realize that we do not have very much control over who we meet. We do however, have a slightly greater control over we start talking to, choose to date and perhaps eventually marry - In general. I am curious as to whether present generations are actually more liberal than older ones or it is just a facade. I know responses may not match actions but I think I will get a general idea. I''m sure many other people are in this camp. So, due to many conversations I have had with friends and family, I have decided to ask you all - my beautiful readers - this question.

Question: Are you / would you (genuinely) be open to marry someone of a distinctly different race,  faith, culture, tribe,  etc ? (If you are interested in getting married / are married)


A little help.
In order of preference, rank your willingness to marry someone of:
* The same tribe
* A very similar tribe ( Eg., Igbo and Ikwerre are very similar)
* A different tribe / culture (Eg., Fulani and Ijaw are very distinct)
* A nearby country (Eg., Nigeria / Cameroon are very close to each other and share similarities)
* A different broad ethnicity (Eg., Black and Asian are different broad ethnicities of the human race)
* A different faith (Eg., Christianity and Buddhism are distinctly different faiths)


I mean:
How much does the variety of our differences matter these days. It seems to matter less and less but is this just a facade?


I understand that the readers of my blog are a small number of people but from what I know so far, there is a broad opinion pool.

Oya, my people, may una shoot!

Blessings,
NakedSha.

P.S: Let us try to abstain from derogatory nick-names, abeg.

22 comments:

  1. i draw the line at faith...i must marry a xtian...but ethnicity and those others are far down my priority list and can be fully compromised

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  2. Word for word what doll said. Now my parents might argue otherwise but they have no say.

    With that said can i just tell you that there are lot of difficulties with differences, lets not deceive ourselves. This is where i always say sometimes Love is not enough.

    I do not believe it is a facade, but its not and will probably not be ever eradicated.

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  3. Religion is up there on my list..

    although I would love to marry a fellow Nigerian..
    it's not up there on my list...
    i'm open to other countries/races, etc

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  4. Igbo and Ikwerre are distinct! lol but seriously sha

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  5. I'm completely open to it. I just ended a relationship with a Japanese man that I was very in love with. If things had worked out well rather than badly I would have married him in a heartbeat.

    There ARE difficulties with different cultures and languages, but I think the key is to compromise equally and not value one culture or language over the other.

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  6. I have dated a white guy and now married to a Yoruba man being Igbo and Nigerian myself. It's a state of mind thing, there are differences but I don't think they're insurmountable.

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  7. My priority before I chose my beau was to marry someone with the same faith, and he found me.

    If we didn't have the same faith, I don't see how it could have worked out. Having conflicting views on faith produces the weirdest marriages out there. The rest of the options, I could have done with. I'm hooked with a man from a different culture/tribe.

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  8. I don't mind marrying someone from a different/similar tribe, a nearby country or a different ethnicity. As long as we can get along as well as I would with any
    "typical Nigerian" guy I dated, I'm good with it. Obviously there would be differences but if overall my experience with him is great, why would i restrict myself cos he's not from the same place as me?
    On the matter of faith however.. ahn. I have to marry a Christian. My parents wont live forever and I know I need that spiritual support so my husband gasts be there for me!

    Love ur blog funmi

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  9. when it comes to 'faith' theres no compromising.(we must be at d same frequency) as for other differences- it will be greatly oppossed by my parents...but i gotta make a decision i can live with 4 d rest of ma life n sure d gonna respect it.

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  10. Guy I'm about to settle down with isn't anywhere near my tribe and I barely notice cause it just doesn't come up..
    Religion should be in tune with mine but other than that, we cool..

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  11. We must be of the same faith...might consider a fellow african, if he is a muslim. Oyinbo no way

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  12. All your responses are priceless to me. THANK YOU!

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  13. non-nigerian might be a bit hard for me. a nigerian of any tribe - dont really mind (was hoping for a hausa guy sometime ago)

    i draw the line on faith.

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  14. i am a proud woman of Yoruba race...i am currently engaged to an ibo man...i also draw the line at faith...it is what defines me...

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  15. Okay. I hope to smile through this banana-skin set-up! Let's see.

    Same tribe? Not particularly keen.
    Similar tribe? ditto
    Different tribe? I so love hausa chix. They've got this syrupy slur!
    A nearby country? How close is Spain again?
    Different faith? Sorry, twon't be happening!

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  16. I married a man of a different race so to me race was not an issue. The only requirement from your list was that my spouse be a Christian because I did not want to be unequally yoked and have to worry constantly about my spouse's salvation!

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  17. @Imisi and Amy, I hear you. Bless you.

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  18. Faith is my border line. Not a die-hard xtian myself, but like Jaycee said, different faiths produce some really weird marriages.

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  19. Hmm....let me see, am married to a yoruba & a muslim...so wetin i wan talk for here na no go be like lie huh?..*grining*...nevertheless, i had it in mind to marry a xtain & not a yoruba & hausa man! ... but when the cupid shot me with his arrow of love, i was singing a different tune..*laughs*....but it is much better for one to marry from the same faith,tribe & race because there are some problems that won't raise it's ugly head unlike in inter-tribal, faith & race marriages... that might put a strain in the relationship because we operate an extended family system.

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  20. In this regard im a blind boy. Blind to all the silly niches and groups we humans like to identify with.

    I can marry whoever I damn well please

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  21. @ Kay9 and NG, thank you.

    @Enoch, thank you.

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Your comments are my maggi!